THE LAST 5 Foibles: Know your type

The Last Five Foibles: Know your type!!!

So 5 years ago there was audition for The Last 5 Years. I was living in a small town in the South, where clearly there are no blonds. None.

This is the same town that cast me as Liat in South Pacific for my "ethnic look," but for some reason I thought with my talent, sass and natural Hayley-ness I would convince the director to look beyond my natural Anne Frankness- and frankly, give me the role of Kathy.

And - come on! , what singer can resist a little Jason Robert Brown. Its crack. Crack for the soul.
I prepared with my voice teacher and halfway through climbing uphill he stopped and looked at me and said, "Hayley, when do you ever look in the mirror and say, I'm a wasp." "Um, on Sunday's?" was my response, as I hid my bagels and lox and copy of Hillel weekly between my sheet music.

"The only way that you have a shot at this part is to wear a blond wig."

"Stephen Rudlin," I said, "That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life. No. No! and No! Have you seen my eyebrows?"

And then I did it. Of course I did. I had a boundary problem back then.

That day in my amazing apartment that would run for 5 grand in Soho but i was paying 750 because it was Virginia, I warmed up, I buzzed and wig capped myself and tried to lighten my eyebrows. With baby powder. Fantastic

At the audition were me, a bunch of Jew-"ish" looking boys, blonds, and all five feet me.
Now, at the time, I was a good 50 lbs more than I am now. I was on my 3rd Hairspray callback for Bway, so imagine Tracy Turnblad with baby powdered eyebrows and a blond wig. True blue gone bad

I made my way downstairs to audition and the people cracked up. Mind you, I had just done a production of Reckless with them, and they knew me well.

I sang my song, and they laughed (duh) and then director had me sing "Still Hurting." It was one of those moments in the room where it felt amazing- I was honest, truthful. I got misty eyed but not to the point of not crying, still being able to sing.

He said I gave one of the best auditions he had ever seen.

I was like, thank you Hashem, or should I say Jesus? ( I think I was wearing a cross too!!!) Why?

A week later, nothing. I put my ear to the ground and asked my friend to find out why. My friend Jason said the director told him I was "too adorable" for the role.

Fine, I can deal with that. Too adorable is not a bad thing. TheatreWorks I thought, here I come!

And then he said, "Yeah and she was a JEW WITH A WIG !"
Hahaha

So the moral of the story is, know your type. Hello!!! I'm little Red Riding Hood, and Little Sally and Wednesday Adams and not Laurie and Mother from Ragtime and a Desperate Housewife. I'm a desperate NYU student on her way to class in Law and Order SVU. Well, you get the point.

Jamie may be over and gone for me, but if I'm craving to sing a little Jason, you'll be seeing me starring in the next production of Parade as Factory Girl number 2.

Shalom
PS the girl who got the role was an eighteen year old brunette. whomp whomp.

xoxo
haylz